I don't feel like me here, I'm trapped and finding it impossible to get away, apart from when I dream, and even there it seems to be a place of drama at the moment.
I sometimes think you're the only one that loves me, which makes me wonder why you even do, surely its been a long enough time for you to realise how selfish and anti-people I am.
Talking of people, how can you think anything good about a species that can let another person live like this?
Is this what this persons existance comes down to? This is why I cannot believe in a higher being, and you can say as much as you like that god tests us, but fuck, what has this single person done to deserve such a test. less a god more a cruel child with a magnifying glass on a sunny day, burning up a colony of ants.
And if there is a god and he's abandoned us, do we not deserve it? Surely after years of mass destruction we have some sort of penance to pay. We are a selfish and cruel race, we take for granted the food in our bellys and we hate those that are different to us.
Am I boring you yet? I much prefer the animal kingdom, at least they kill to keep themselves fed. There is no hate in there kingdom.
Jim Nachtwey, amazing photographer, but man have you opened up a can of worms for me. So amazing at his job that in the face of terror and misery he can just do what he's there to do and show no outside effect. fuck knows what the inner effects are, but they don't reach the surface.
How can you love me when I hate our species so much?
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